ADHD Symptoms, And How People Who Mask Them May Not Even Know They Have ADHD

ADHD is commonly thought by people with no real knowledge of the facts to be a childhood condition which causes behavioural problems commonly known as ‘naughtiness’.  

In reality of course there are behavioural problems that the condition causes, but there are so many other invisible symptoms which often seem to be contradictory that ADHD can be hard to accurately diagnose, or can be mistaken for other learning difficulties of mental health conditions.  

For example, ADHD in girls can often lead to inattention at school, meaning she is seen as daydreamy, a chatterbox, or unwilling to pay attention when the teacher is speaking. On the other hand in boys the symptoms are generally more physical. He can be disruptive, the class clown, attention seeking, even violent toward his peers and teachers.  

Due to the fact that symptoms in boys are more obvious they tend to be diagnosed more easily, to such an extent that ADHD appears to be a mental health condition which primarily affects boys. However, in reality it affects both sexes fairly evenly, and doesn’t go away with age. Children don’t grow out of ADHD, instead they learn to adapt and mask their condition while still finding things difficult which neurotypical people seem to be able to do with ease.  

ADHD Symptoms: Two Broad Categories

The symptoms of ADHD do fall broadly into two categories: inattention and hyperactivity. As mentioned above, girls tend toward inattention while boys lean more toward hyperactivity, however, that is a broad generalisation to illustrate a point and more specific symptoms can be identified in either sex. Approximately 20-30% of people with ADHD fall into the inattentive bracket, they daydream, they can’t pay attention in class or meetings, and they need constant stimulation. However, because these symptoms aren’t considered common or obvious ADHD symptoms they are often overlooked or ignored, meaning that diagnosis for inattentive ADHD is far less common than those with symptoms of hyperactivity. 

If you or your paediatrician know what to look out for, then the symptoms of ADHD are usually apparent before the age of 6, and they will occur both at home and at school.

The more specific symptoms listed under inattentiveness are: 

• Short attention spans and a tendency to become distracted easily 
• Making mistakes due to carelessness or not watching what they are doing 
• Forgetfulness and losing things 
• Inability to maintain prolonged attention to tasks which are boring or time consuming 
• Inability to understand or carry out instructions 
• Chopping and changing from one task to another 
• Inability to organise tasks or accurately predict how much time they will take 

The more specific symptoms of ADHD which are listed under hyperactivity and impulsiveness are: 

• Inability to sit still, especially in quiet surroundings where there is no stimulus or distraction 
• Inability to concentrate on tasks 
• Excessive movement some people describe as “like being driven by a motor” 
• Excessive talking 
• Interrupting during conversations, and no regard for turn-taking generally 
• Poor risk perception resulting in dangerous behaviour 

Naturally all these symptoms will have a detrimental effect on the child’s education and socialisation because they are unable to study or make friends due to their ‘antisocial’ behaviour. 

ADHD Symptoms Create More Symptoms Such As Stress And Anxiety

As if the symptoms which make up ADHD weren’t problematic enough, there are other symptoms and comorbidities which occur as a result of ADHD.  

When you look at the problems someone with ADHD has to struggle with in order to ‘fit in’ it comes as no surprise that depression, stress and anxiety are also commonly experienced by those with the condition. You will often find that people with ADHD have trouble sleeping because their minds are constantly racing, and that they have rejection sensitivity dysphoria, a particularly high aversion to being rejected either in a relationship, friendship, or by an employer.  

Frustration and anger management difficulties are frequently found too. The ADHD brain doesn’t produce as much dopamine or serotonin as a neurotypical one, meaning that they are less able to cope with obstacles, delays, impediments and irritations. This is why the ADHD symptom of hyperactivity is so easy to identify. When someone is unable to concentrate on something, but they’re not allowed to leave it and do something more stimulating instead they get bored, that boredom soon becomes frustration, and an inability to cope with frustration adequately comes out as disruptive behaviour, meltdowns, tantrums and even direct violence.  

Masking The Fact That You Have ADHD

Because ADHD is a developmental disorder it won’t be identified in an adult who never had any symptoms as a child. The symptoms follow the child through adolescence into adulthood, but during that time the person will have learned strategies of their own, from relatives who also have ADHD (ADHD is an inheritable condition, and many adults only find out they have it when their child receives a diagnosis), or they will have learned how to mask their condition.  

What is ADHD Masking 

Because ADHDers talk too much they tend to over-share personal information about themselves. They mask that by remaining quiet in social surroundings, maybe even appearing shy, sullen or simply rude. Their tendency to lose things can be masked by obsessively checking bags or pockets for keys, phones, wallet, et cetera. Masking also manifests itself as perfectionism, which in itself has many negative effects from obsessive hyperfocus to procrastination and feelings of guilt or depresson if they fail at achieving their self-imposed impossible targets.  

As awareness and understanding of ADHD increases the need to mask for many ADHDers is reduced, although there are many people who don’t believe ADHD exists other than an excuse for bad behaviour. Instead they think it is simply a label which can be used to further stigmatise children who struggle with the school structure, and adults who find it hard to work in unstimulating employment.  

Why Is Masking ADHD Bad? 

Masking ADHD is not good for the individual because they are trying to pretend they’re not experiencing the symptoms of a recognised mental disability. It’s a disability which can have a profound effect on educational outcomes for children, and career opportunities for adults, so simply pretending that everything is fine when in fact the individual is struggling to keep up is unfair, damaging, and counterproductive.  

Masking symptoms means that ADHD diagnoses are delayed, so there is a delay in the support the person receives. If a person is masking they may not be aware themselves that they have a treatable, if incurable condition. Plus hiding a developmental condition which is often associated with anxiety and depression means that those illnesses are harder to detect or find a cause for as well.  

People who are good at masking may not be believed when they open up and admit that they are struggling, and that they always have done, or they might be at higher risk of substance abuse as they look for ways to self medicate. Masking is also incredibly stressful. People who mask are constantly vigilant over mistakes they could be making, observing other people and looking for clues and cues for behaviour or activities they should be emulating. It can also be incredibly alienating. Because the person doing the masking is never able to act ‘normally’ they are never able to reveal their true personality to those around them, and the people they surround themselves with never get to know the real person behind the mask either.  

Dealing With ADHD Without Masking 

If you have been masking for a long time it can be difficult to let those behaviours go. But the relief of not having to present as someone you’re not to people can be incredible. You can let your true self shine without the emotional and mental labour of always having to be someone you’re not.  

You may not even be conscious that you are masking, rather you just find life living like other people incredibly difficult, and things your peers find easy you find hard, but pretend to do with ease. If that sounds like you and you recognise many of the symptoms at the top of this article then you may want to consider unmasking.  

Start by considering which symptoms and masking behaviours are hurting you, and which are superpowers. Hyperfocus which leads to a keen eye for detail is a benefit you can take from ADHD. Perfectionism which supersedes all else isn’t. Learn how to deal with anger, stress, anxiety and even depression positively. Seek help from a counsellor or therapist instead of internalising these feelings and simply pretending that everything is OK.  

Finally, realise that you’re not alone, yet despite the fact that there are millions of people in the ADHD community, and they’ve all got similar stories, you are unique.  

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